Well, I've got to hand it to Simon Cowell. He certainly knows how to stir it up. His latest media attention getting enterprise, "X-Factor", seems to have netted a huge response - mostly from starry-eyed fame-seekers who want a crack at a $5 million dollar recording contract.
Hey, I'm the first one to encourage new talent, and know that in order to get ANYWHERE in the business of music, you have to get yourself OUT there and AUDITION - something that I have done many, many times.
The midwest auditions for the latest Cowell upcoming fall extravaganza was held at the Sears Centre, which was not a bad thing necessarily...but, PARDON ME.....$20 per day for parking to audition???
Yeah, I know, I know. "you do what you have to do to get out there..blah, blah.."...but I wouldn't call $20 for parking a ~necessary~ expense, especially in these times of over the top gas prices. (some people drove all the way from Michigan just to be there for a shot at this...kudos to them.)
~I~ just happened to be one of those auditioners, btw. Even though, at my age, I felt kind of out of place with all the 20-somethings who largely packed the lines waiting to get in, I thought, "what the heck..there's no age limit for X FACTOR, so what have I got to lose by trying?"
Oh yeah...$20 bucks per day. Sooooooo....I thought about it and felt there was no harm in trying to save myself a little $ for the auditioning process, and found out that the X FACTOR contracted a well-known event security company to do all its parking and internal ushering.
After checking Craigslist, (I swear, you can find just about ANYTHING there..) I noticed a couple of HELP WANTED ads this security company posted for the X FACTOR 3 day event looking for staff, so I applied for a position. After receiving an almost immediate response after sending them my resume', they hired me to work two out of the three days for parking support.
The rub was, in order to get in to audition, you had to wait in line to get a special admission ticket and have a colored wristband strapped on you. This in and of itself, I thought, would not be a problem. I planned to just drive in as "support staff" (so I wouldnt have to pay the $20 to park), and just walk around and wait in line outside the Sears Centre until they started passing out the tickets.
It just so happened, however, during the three days of the audition, it rained. A lot. All day. And all night and into the morning and thruout the next two days. Needless to say, I got soaking wet. Even with the raingear I wore, the cold wind blew rainwater everywhere. After waiting for almost 5 hours (I got there at 3am thinking to be one of the first in line) they finally started letting people into the building. During the long, tedious waiting period, the various TV and radio stations reported in, filming the throngs of rain-soaked fame intoxicated auditioners, which, despite the terrible conditions, hung tough and weren't put off in the least. There were, by my count, over 5000 people in line, all packed into a space lined with those metal cattle fences designed to herd groups of people at these kinds of events.
(HEY, Simon.... after spending oodles of scratch on the tons of advertisements on television and print ads, and after charging the poor souls $20 bucks a day for parking....COULD YOU MAYBE SPRING FOR A COUPLE OF TENT CANOPIES??)Still, after waiting and waiting, they finally let everyone in, and I was able to get my special ticket and wristband.
The following day, which was the audition day, thousands of people showed up, dressed in various costumes and ready to knock em dead with their talent. In the hallways, you could hear the occasional vocalist wailing away singing scales or performing a section of the special song they chose for that days audition.
In the arena itself, there were various small cubicles set up for the auditions, each one numbered from one thru thirty. The auditioners were brought down in groups according to the sections of the seats they were assigned. Despite the terrible lack of compassion showed for the poor souls who had to stand in the rain all those hours, this part of the audition process was actually pretty well organized.
After stepping into the mens' room momentarily for a change of costume, (insert theme from Mission: Impossible here) I was graciously assisted to my assigned seat by one of the event staff, who had no idea I was "event staff" as well.
Once seated, the shuffling of people to the main floor began. It all actually went pretty quickly. I stepped into the line, and was directed along until, at last, I was the next one to audition. Going thru the lyrics in my head one last time, I thought, "hey, maybe I could really pull this off and get picked..SOMEONES gonna get picked...maybe I have a shot..."
I chose "Can You Feel The Love Tonight" by Elton John. I have been performing the song regularly at the Sabatinos Restaurant piano bar with much success, so I knew I could sing it a capella.
At long last, I was directed into the dark cubicle, told to stand on the red X, marked on the floor in front of two judges, a man and a young girl. I went to shake the hand of the male judge, and my handshake was rejected. Immediately put off by this, I thought perhaps my song selection of "Can You Feel The Love" was a bit too ironic to be taken seriously at this point. Undaunted, I went on, bravely bellowing out the opening verse and chorus with what I thought was a powerful performance.
After finishing, the male judge looked at me momentarily. It was at that moment I realized it was the same long uncomfortable glance a lot of those tv cooking judges give to the contestants that are about to be cut from the competition. He then blinked once, in an almost casually uninterested way and calmly stated
"Thanks for coming in today, but unfortunately, I'm going to have to say "NO"..."I really wasn't all that surprised by this decision, since I imagine they are looking for youth combined with the ability to sing like those over the top vocalists tend to do nowadays...you know...the ones who tend to oversing by using 30 or 40 notes for one word....
Clearly, that was just not my style.
Relieved of the pressure of auditioning, I quickly moved out of the cubicle and towards the sign marked with big black letters NO, and an arrow pointing to the left exit.
On the way out of the arena, I was handed a flyer by one of the event staff that read "STILL WANT TO BE PART OF THE X FACTOR EVENT? WE'RE LOOKING FOR AUDIENCE MEMBERS TO CHEER ON THE CONTESTANTS!"
As I walked towards the event staff parking area to my car, I looked up and noticed it had finally stopped raining. I beeped my car and before opening the door, I took the flyer and placed it underneath the damp windshield of the car parked next to me.
Driving out of the parking lot, I noticed a huge lit up "X FACTOR" neon sign that stood imposingly on the grassy area next to the road.
"At least I didn't have to pay $40 for the parking..." Pulling out towards Rte 59, I drove for about 15 minutes, driving up to a gas station sign which read "regular unleaded $4.49"
Sighing helplessly, I pulled in, realizing I hadn't gotten away for nothing after all.
